I don't write enough

Yes. You may recall me saying as much some time earlier. When, I'm not sure myself. Today I am going to talk about multiple things. How unusual. That's what I did yesterday. But I don't mean to say that like it's a bad thing. I liked it. Maybe you did too. Either you did or didn't, depending upon what kind of person you are. Not funny.

I'm tired right now, so I hope that won't make this mediocre. (after finishing) Did it?

Viewing the process of thingamabobbers (brought about by looking at topics I listed in my notebook to write about on this)
I've somewhat recently wanted, when I remembered to think of it, to be able to look back and view how one thing (event, action or even thought) led to another and so on until there was a fortunate result. But writing that just made me aware that everything in a person's life is really part of just one chain. Everything's existence is owed partly, to varying (and I would say unmeasurable) degrees, to something else before it.

In this part of today's entry, I had the objective of coming up with some simple examples from my own experience. But of course I'll probably have a hard time thinking of any that seem truly exemplary or convincing.

Today I drove to Safeway to mail off Chrono Cross, which someone bought from me on half.com for 8 dollars. I drove George, the 1983 Buick (I may be wrong), as usual. Apparently I got there just after someone else had delivered 30 items to be mailed internationally, so there would be some delay for my item.

Well, I tried. Mildly. The problem is that the little, seemingly insignificant details quickly disappear from memory. I don't know if they're gone forever, in fact I don't believe they are, but there are many things that you'd simply never be able to access again without the right trigger, which would be kind of hard to identify if you don't even know what you're trying to remember.

I wrote the last paragraph somewhat fast, while looking at the screen and not the keyboard. I really want to want more to increase my keyboarding speed. I read on an article at Associated Content that the main thing you need to do, aside from practice a lot, is NOT LOOK AT THE KEYBOARD. I was in fact not quite aware of that. So now I am, as are you. Good.

So now, back to the cause and effect whatever you callems. I'll try to write them down in the future like as soon as they happen so I can be more aware of them, because being aware of them is useful because it gives me more to be grateful about. Anyway, I'm now going to try something more internal.

Well, nevermind. I can't think of anything at all, unfortunately. I hate trying to think of examples. Hopefully I have some written down somewhere in my paper journal. But what a pain, to have to look through it. It's mostly negative, so I don't want to.

Ok, well here's one I guess. And it wasn't from looking at my journal. About a week ago I finally got around to taking 6 large bags full of unwanted clothing articles out of my closet and dropping them off at a thriftstore. I was happy to be rid of them. Then I started seeing what else I could clear out from the closet, and under some stuff where the bags were I found a coat I totally forgot about and seriously have not even seen for probably 7-8 years. It still fit, and was in better condition than that huge puffy one I'm sure you've always seen me in. The reason I got the puffy one, back in 2000 or so, was because the one that I was talking about doesn't have a hood, and I hate getting rain on my head. I didn't use a stocking cap because I didn't want my hair to be messed up, but a hood messes it up somewhat too. So now I'm using both coats, and I WILL use a hat for the older one I found in my closet.

Well, that wasn't a very amazing example, but it was something. Maybe it can get me started on finding a better example. I'll come back to this part later, like not today probably.

Studying useful poo
As you may or may not know, I tend to think in absolutes, which I am aware is unhealthy. One example, and a particularly frustrating one, is in the area of studying something to learn which would be useful to know but just seems like a pain. Particularly when it's something like anatomy, which has so many thousands of facts that I get overwhelmed very fast and basically forget most of them, then feeling like I need to start from the beginning every time. I think it's because I don't bother to summarize. It's all about prioritization of detail. If I limited my memorization to the most elementary facts until I had them down totally, then I would have such a stronger foundation to truly learn the rest. And to do so, I need to actually write them down.

But thankfully, not every useful subject in existence is near so endlessly intricate as human physicality. And unless you plan on becoming a doctor or scientist, it's probably not the most important thing to know inside and out anyway. I feel like I haven't quite realized that yet. Or maybe my not-quite-conscious knowledge of it is one of the reasons why I'm not very motivated overall to study it, despite my feeling of "should." I "want" to be knowledgeable of anatomy for a couple of reasons, one, so I can be more aware of the consequences of particular actions and thus increase my ability and motivation to live healthier and be prepared when CPR or anything like that is needed, and two, so I can feel more often and with greater intensity the "chill of eons", aka the "shiver of truehuman", which I fear I cannot explain very well. It's just something that I believe you must first experience via some kind of profound inspiration (for me it was Xenogears, due in no small part to its music).

Ok, so this seems to have been mainly about anatomy. Oh well.

Something (hereafter retitled as The Purpose of This)
I won't deny it, this is hard. I'm getting some enjoyment out of this, but there has to be a more effective way of knowing what to write. Let me look at my list.

I seem to be a might torn between saying just whatever I "want" to with no predetermined structure, and knowing in advance the basic points to make. Well I doubt that's uncommon. Should I compromise between the two? That's probably what I do most of the time. I believe I've pretty much internally established the purpose of this, but when I think about it, it seems likely that externalizing it is necessary to give it true importance. So I'm going to do that now.

The purpose of this blog is:
1) To say things that I am afraid to say in person or on the phone, so that those who read it can know me better and have more to talk about
2) To help me to come up with good ideas that can be applied by myself and others
3) To provide motivation for myself (and others, but to a much lesser degree)
4) To provide an outlet for my humor

That's it, as far as I know. Not that it isn't enough.

OK, SO IS THIS ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY YET? I SHOULD THINK SO. THAT WAS KIND OF EXHAUSTING. But when I BECOME MORE SPONTANEOUS, it won't be. My ETERNAL PERFECTIONISM is why I become drained. In fact, I'm going to add that to the purpose list right now.

5) To energize me.

Theee, ENDDD.